reflections on post-college life

My dad is a pastor, so I grew up in the church. When I left little Baraboo, WI for college in Green Bay, I immediately got involved with Cru (formerly known as Campus Crusade for Christ). Walking in to a Cru meeting or gathering, I had instant Christian community. During my 4 years in GB, I lead Bible studies, went on missions trips, and lead worship. In fact, it wasn't until the end of my senior year that some of the younger students admitted that they were a little intimidated by me because I was that "Cru girl" who seemed to have it all together.

I was excited to graduate and move to Milwaukee. I was thrilled to start my career as a nurse. Most of all, I was pumped that my days of energy drinks, all-nighters, flashcards, exams, clinicals, sleep deprivation, and cash flow problems were nearly over. And you know what? A lot of those things have been really great. But the reality is this: post-college life is hard. I can't tell you how many times I thought to myself, "Why didn't anyone WARN me it was going to be like this?!"
Now, some of you may already be rolling your eyes in response to my first-world problem. I probably would have 2 years ago. But here's the reality of life after college: I moved to a new city where I knew virtually no one. I started my brand-new career at a large hospital where I knew literally no one! I had no friends. I had no home church. There was no Cru for people who were out of college! In short, I was far from my comfort zone and very lonely. In the midst of all of this, my grandfather passed away somewhat unexpectedly, which meant trips home to be with family. My best friend got married that summer as well, which meant trips back to Green Bay for the wedding. I loved and missed my family and friends at home and in GB, but I struggled with a constant unrest: "I don't belong here anymore."

The first year of post-college life was wonderful in some ways and truly challenging in others. After months of applications and disappointing interviews, I was so grateful for my job. I work with some pretty amazing people, too! :) Some of my extended family lives in the Milwaukee area, so I loved that I got to see them more often. And let's be real: coming home after a long day of work and not heading to the coffee shop to study?? Pretty sweet.

Loneliness is tough, but I learned a lot about myself and others during this post-college transition time. I learned what it was like to be on the outside looking in, a healthy realization for someone who has a tendency to be too comfortable in her own bubble. I learned how crucial it is to "put myself out there," making an effort to get to know people, even when I was overwhelmed by new faces. I certainly don't have it all figured out, but there has been progress, and for that I am so thankful!

Building 429's song "Where I Belong," has been an anthem in my life during this crazy time.

"All I know is I'm not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong."

So,where do I belong? Milwaukee? Mozambique? I'm not sure where He's taking me or what is in store, but I belong with Him, and that's all I need to know right here in this moment.

-A

A lovely Milwaukee evening wog

Just wanted to share a few pictures that I  had to stop and snap on my "run" tonight. Ok, lets be real about 2 things:
1. my run was more like a "wog." What the heck is a wog, you may ask? This term was coined by my college roommate to describe those workouts where you alternate walking and jogging-a much more accurate description in my case.
2. Even if there hadn't been breaktaking views of Lake Michigan along my route, I still would have stopped for a breather. These photos are a lovely result of my recent lack of wogging. ;)

I love this place.

-A

Clean Eats: Peaches and Cream Oatmeal

Alright, I know the picture isn't the prettiest. But lets be real, when is the last time your recipe or Pinterest creation looked like the picture?? Honestly, it initially looked better, but I'm trying out the mobile blog app and had to keep re-taking the picture for this post, but I was hungry, so I was eating bites of oatmeal in between pictures. Ha!

Anyway, peaches and cream oatmeal was a childhood favorite. Here is my grown-up version. Complete with lean protein, complex carbs, fiber, and some healthy fats and antioxidants.

Clean Eats: Peaches and Cream Oatmeal

Ingredients:
1/2 c oats
1/2 c boiling water
1 organic peach, chopped
1/2 c nonfat plain Greek yogurt
2 tbsp ground flax seed
1 tsp agave nectar

To do:
Combine oats and water in a bowl and put a plate over it to "cook" for about 5 minutes. Add the remaining ingredients and give it a good mix.

Enjoy!  :)

-A

Well, hey there!

Thanks for stopping by! I'm Amanda; welcome to my blog. I'm a registered nurse living in the outskirts of Milwaukee, WI. I love to cook (fairly new to the Clean Eating lifestyle, and loving it!), decorate my home, be anywhere in or around Lake Michigan, and spend time with my family. I dream of long-term medical missions and am obsessed with open windows, good music, and twinkle lights. I've been out of college and "in the real world" for a little over a year now and am still trying to make sense of it all! :) 

I've been blessed with a great deal that I don't deserve: a

loving (albeit, unconventional!) family, supportive friends, a good job, healthy food, a comfy house... But, while there are days when I thrive in the challenge of being a single twenty-something searching for new adventure and life's next steps, there are others when I just want to turn around, wrap myself in a blanket, and binge on a frozen pizza and an entire season of "Friends," hoping that the chaos will magically resolve without me.

Here's the thing: I've been a Christian since I was 5 years old. I grew up in the church, went on missions trips, and lead worship and Bible studies through my college campus ministry. I was used to being the girl who had it together, or at least the girl who appeared to have it together. I wasted a lot of time and energy trying to be a perfect role model instead of just being relatable.  It wasn't until I finished college and was rudely awakened by this life-after-college-where-the-heck-did-my-comfort-zone-go-phenomenon that I realized 2 things:

1.) I do not have it all together.

2.) It's OK to not have it all together.

Over the course of the past year, God has been faithful in the face of my faithlessness (say that 5 times fast!). I still mess up on a daily basis, and He remains faithful. One of the most important things I've learned, and the premise for this blog, is the importance of being REAL. What does that mean?  It means that facades benefit no one. It means that it is impossible to grow from a challenge if I fail to acknowledge it by sweeping it under the rug. It means that life is messy. 

I mean, let's be real: if I had never realized my desperate need for Christ, I never would have become His follower. And without Him in my life...well, this blog would be called, "Let's Keep Pretending," because I would be truly lost. Hebrews 6:19 is a much-loved passage: "We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." With Christ as my anchor, I have the freedom to be real, to question, to challenge, to be vulnerable. At the end of the day, no matter how messy or broken or wonderful, I can know that I am grounded in Him, my Hope.

One of my favorite things to do is to create a space in which others feel welcome and at home; my hope and prayer is for this space to be one of raw honesty and vulnerability, that it would bring genuine encouragement and thought-provoking conversation to those who enter it. I want to share the things I learn- whether it has to do with clean eating, nursing, ministry, home decor, or something else totally random. And laughter, lots of laughter. My patients are some of the funniest, rudest, most direct, most observant, most loving, most ridiculous people I've ever met, so look forward to some direct quotes!!

-A