I was excited to graduate and move to Milwaukee. I was thrilled to start my career as a nurse. Most of all, I was pumped that my days of energy drinks, all-nighters, flashcards, exams, clinicals, sleep deprivation, and cash flow problems were nearly over. And you know what? A lot of those things have been really great. But the reality is this: post-college life is hard. I can't tell you how many times I thought to myself, "Why didn't anyone WARN me it was going to be like this?!"
Now, some of you may already be rolling your eyes in response to my first-world problem. I probably would have 2 years ago. But here's the reality of life after college: I moved to a new city where I knew virtually no one. I started my brand-new career at a large hospital where I knew literally no one! I had no friends. I had no home church. There was no Cru for people who were out of college! In short, I was far from my comfort zone and very lonely. In the midst of all of this, my grandfather passed away somewhat unexpectedly, which meant trips home to be with family. My best friend got married that summer as well, which meant trips back to Green Bay for the wedding. I loved and missed my family and friends at home and in GB, but I struggled with a constant unrest: "I don't belong here anymore."
The first year of post-college life was wonderful in some ways and truly challenging in others. After months of applications and disappointing interviews, I was so grateful for my job. I work with some pretty amazing people, too! :) Some of my extended family lives in the Milwaukee area, so I loved that I got to see them more often. And let's be real: coming home after a long day of work and not heading to the coffee shop to study?? Pretty sweet.
Loneliness is tough, but I learned a lot about myself and others during this post-college transition time. I learned what it was like to be on the outside looking in, a healthy realization for someone who has a tendency to be too comfortable in her own bubble. I learned how crucial it is to "put myself out there," making an effort to get to know people, even when I was overwhelmed by new faces. I certainly don't have it all figured out, but there has been progress, and for that I am so thankful!
Building 429's song "Where I Belong," has been an anthem in my life during this crazy time.
"All I know is I'm not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong."
So,where do I belong? Milwaukee? Mozambique? I'm not sure where He's taking me or what is in store, but I belong with Him, and that's all I need to know right here in this moment.
-A
